So I've realized that I'm not dependable when it comes to church or church related activities. What I mean is that I don't seem to attend church regularly - I sadly have become one of those people who just sort of show up seemingly whenever. Like this morning - I was going to go to class and everything, but I slept in and pulled into the parking lot at 10:57 (service starts at 10:45). I just couldn't do it. I couldn't go in because I was too embarrassed at being late. The reason I slept in? I did Amber's laundry last night - she had a lot. I didn't get done folding and everything till 1:30ish in the morning. Sometimes I miss church for legitimate reasons - for instance I missed Bible study this Thursday because I had a huge presentation to give at work on Silverlight on Friday and didn't leave the office till 9:15 PM.
I mean what happened? In college I had a terrible time attending anywhere regularly - it wasn't till my last semester that I became fairly involved with the Downtown COC 20's group that I finally started doing something regularly - but even then, if I had a big hw assignment or didn't feel well - it was just always easy to not go. I always figured that would change once I got out of school. I always figured I'd get involved somewhere and be active and whatnot... I guess old habits die hard.
The crazy thing is that I do a great job at work and I do a great job of always being there for my girlfriend, but I can't seem to do a great job at being there for God.
1 Reply to "I don't get it."
megan on 21.4.08
Not to encourage non-churchliness, but i don't go here in Chicago at all. I tried a C of C... unbelievably unbearable, and there aren't many other churches nearby i'd like to try. Truth is, i'd rather work Sunday Brunch and make a lot of tips. I do love going to my home church whenever i go back to D-town for a visit. I just don't want to even put the effort into finding a place to call my home away from home. sad but true. Ever since leaving HU i have been trying to figure out where i stand with a lot of religious matters... HU being the bubble of many who think alike and such. Often i avoid and choose to just move on with my week. I miss it sometimes, but i also feel like i am actively participating in things involving the improvement of the community through service and art related things. At the same time i thought i'd plug myself into a church and be super involved with something art/singing related. Like i said, i think i am avoiding a lot of things. In conclusion, at least you are making some sort of effort. Keep following your questions, that's really all you can do to figure things out.
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